


Shof op, Clarke!

by clonedcupcake



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 17:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3578196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clonedcupcake/pseuds/clonedcupcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So I saw this on tumblr and couldn't help picture this.</p><p>Who in your OTP asks the weird questions in the middle of the night and who hits the other in the face with a pillow?</p><p>"Lexa, what do you think the moon is made of?"</p><p>"Why are you asking me? Im not the one who fell from the sky!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shof op!

**Author's Note:**

> Just something quick I came up with, not my best work but I hope it is enjoyed regardless.
> 
> shof op - shut up  
> pleni! - enough!  
> Daun ste plenu - that is enough!
> 
> Clarke may be a little ooc but I just imagine her being hyper and not able to sleep
> 
> Kind of fluffy
> 
> cloned-commander-of-camelot on tumblr

“Lexa!” A voice hisses in Lexa’s ear while a finger jabs her shoulder, rousing her from deep sleep. It takes a moment for her to realize who is beside her. 

"Lexa?” Clarke pokes her again, insistently. 

"What, Clarke?!" Lexa mumbles into her pillow.

"Why do you think the stars are so bright?" Clarke asks.

"What on earth, Clarke? Why could you possibly need to know this at such an hour?" Lexa opens her eyes slowly. In the dim candlelight she can see Clarke pursing her lips in contemplation. 

Clarke turns to her. "I mean, on the ark we learned that the stars that burn brightest are dying."

"Okay..." Lexa covers her eyes with her hands, annoyed by the light.

"Do you think that means that the stars that shine brightest in our lives are doomed to die?"

Lexa does not understand. "People are not stars, Clarke."

Clarke sits up, jostling Lexa. "No, it's a figure of speech. It’s just…I don't want you to die."

Lexa doesn't understand the terminology these people use. Strange sayings like "cool!" even when it is boiling hot outside, and referring to loved ones as babies. She sighs. "I'm not a star, I'm not in the sky. I'm here on earth, and I'm not going to die."

"Hey! You made a rhyme!" Clarke slaps her arm excitedly.

"Again, Clarke. What?"

Clarke simply smiles, not explaining herself. "Do you think poets can be reincarnated?"

Lexa shrugs lazily. "I don’t know what that is…”

"Someone who writes little verses very well,” Clarke replies.

“Clarke, I can’t write,” Lexa reminds her.

“Right! I will have to teach you one day.” Clarke hums for a second. "So what do your people think?"

"Huh?" 

"About stars?" Clarke goes back to her previous question.

"They are the souls of the ancestors. They aren't dying, they are already long dead. Now, Clarke, if you do not mind, I am going back to sleep," Lexa huffs. She rolls on to her other side, away from the irritating light.

Clarke seems satisfied with this answer. Lexa sighs in relief, enjoying the silence as her eyes begin to flutter shut once more.

Her peace does not last long.

"Psst. Lexa?” Clarke elbows her in the ribs. “What do you think the moon is made of?"

"Why are you asking me? You're the one who fell from the sky!"

"Apparently our ancestors claimed that it was made of cheese."

"That is stupid.”

"If it were, I think I would like to live on it. I love cheese. You know, we did not have cheese on the ark,” Clarke informs her.

"How unfortunate..." Lexa claps a hand over her ear, hoping to block out any further noise.

It does no good.

"Do you think aliens get lonely?" Clarke asks.

By this point Lexa is ready to punch Clarke out so there will be silence until morning. "I do not know what an alien is."

"They live in space," Clarke explains.

"Are you lonely?" Lexa asks.

"Huh?" 

"You are from space. So you are an alien. I do not know if aliens get lonely - you, as an alien, should know better than me. Think on it and tell me in the morning." Lexa hopes such an answer will make Clarke stop asking so many strange questions.

To her dismay, it does not. "Do your people wish on shooting stars?"

"Clarke, pleni!" Lexa takes her pillow and whacks Clarke in the face as hard as she can.

Clarke makes a shocked noise. "Did you actually just hit me with a pillow?" She scoffs.

"Yes, I did. Is that not obvious?" Lexa rolls back over to face her.

Clarke smirks. "Do you know what a pillow fight is?"

"Ugggh!" Lexa sits up. "Enough! How many languages do I have to say it in?"

The response she gets is Clarke's own pillow hitting her face.

Lexa hits her back once more, aiming for her stomach.

Clarke's retaliates. This time her pillow hits Lexa’s butt. 

"Alright, that's it!" Lexa wrestles Clarke's pillow away from her and starts mercilessly whacking her with it.

"Ow! Ow!" Clarke protests.

"You started it!" 

"You’re the one who hit me with the thing in the first place!" Clarke hits back, using all the pillows she can grab to assist in her counterattack. She was surprised at first to discover that the commander slept with so many pillows. She is now finding it useful.

"Well I wouldn't have been forced to if you hadn't started asking about the origins of the universe at this hour!" Lexa retorts, not letting up on the assault.

"Ah! Ow!" Clarke screeches as the pillow hits her face again.

"Seriously it's a bag of feathers!" Lexa rolls her eyes and slaps Clarke’s arm. Then hits her with the pillow again. This time, it bursts open.

Clarke and Lexa scream in unison as the feathers explode everywhere.

“Shit!” Clarke hisses.

“I’m going to kill…” Lexa freezes when she hears the tent flaps opening and watches in horror as Indra comes into the light. "Commander? Is everything…" Indra begins, then pauses as she sees the two of them covered in feathers. Her eyes widen. Lexa silently curses Clarke for this embarassment.

"We're fine!" Lexa snaps, dropping her pillow. She is mortified.

Indra doesn't ask any more questions, but the confusion is written all over her face. She nods curtly before making her exit.

Lexa slaps Clarke's arm. "I have never been more mortified in my life. How am I supposed to explain this one?"

"I'm sure Indra will just ask Octavia. Though, knowing Octavia, she might add in a few details that are not entirely accurate." Clarke laughs and hits Lexa once more.

Lexa grabs Clarke's wrists wrestles her until they are pinned down. "Daun ste pleni! We have councils tommorrow."

"Gee commander,” Clarke grins at Lexa, who is now straddling her. You only had to ask.”

“Shut up or I will shut you up!” Lexa threatens.

“Mmm, sounds tempting. Then we would just be verifying what Octavia's will probably say."

“I did not mean like that!” Lexa groans and rolls off of her, kicking Clarke's shin in the process. She takes an intact pillow and shoves it under her head.

“Hey, Lexa?”

Lexa inhales sharply, her eyes shooting open once more. She glares at Clarke. “What now?”

Clarke wiggles closer to her. “Do you mind if I do this?”

Lexa grabs Clarke’s arm and locks it around her, preventing her from moving. She rests her chin on the blonde’s shoulder, finally comfortable.

“Oh, so you do like when I do this!” Clarke laughs.

Lexa holds her tighter. "Shof op, sky girl."


	2. Aphrodite took her time on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke continues to be a brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked to continue, and so I did. I have no idea where this is going and this chapter is kind of radom but yeah, hope it is enjoyed.
> 
> Clarke and Lexa are a bit out of character but it's all fluff and fun.
> 
> I like comments :)
> 
> cloned-commander-of-camelot on tumblr

When Lexa wakes the next morning, she notices Clarke is gone, but the feathers from their adventures last night are not. They are all over the bed, the floor, and Lexa herself. She is angrily plucking feathers from her hair and clothes, sneezing violently when one of her guards, Des, pushes open the tent flaps.

"Hed...uhhh?" He stops when he sees the feathery mess. 

Lexa glares. "Excuse me if I am mistaken, but I did not hear you ask permission to enter.”

She watches, amused, as the fear of the gods enters his eyes. "But Heda, it is urgent,” Des insists.

“I asked you if I said you could enter?!” She snaps, slapping the bed for emphasis. It sends a cloud of feathers into the air. She starts sneezing again as they settle all around her. Clarke is going to pay for this.

Des clears his throat. "I...um...I’ll just wait outside." He practically runs out of the tent. Lexa can hear him laughing outside.

“I am going to kill her. Figuratively speaking, but I am going to kill her. She has no idea what is coming,” Lexa grumbles to herself as she climbs out of bed. She quickly exchanges her night clothes for her commander’s outfit, and emerges from the tent with her hair still frazzled and her cape awry. What does it matter now? Octavia has a penchant for gossip, and good stories spread like wildfire in times of peace. False tales about the commander’s wild night are probably all over the trikru lands by now.

Des clears his throat as Lexa walks up to him. "Uh, Heda?" He is suddenly reaching towards her hair, entangling his fingers in it.

She scowls at him and tries to pull away. Since when has she shown interest in him? “What are you doing, Des?!”

When he finally removes his hand, he holds out a feather to her. "Apologies, Heda. I wished to save you any embarrassment.”

“I think that it is a bit late for that.” Lexa grabs the feather from his hand and throws it forcefully to the ground, but instead the feather floats the other direction, hitting her face. She whacks at her face until the offending feather floats away.

When Lexa hears Des snort her eyes meet his with the coldest stare she can manage. "Did you say something?"

He coughs. "No.” He pauses. “No, Heda,” he corrects himself  
.  
"Good. If I hear you laugh at me again." She draws a finger across her throat. Though she wouldn't slit his throat for such a simple thing, she enjoys seeing him look petrified. Clarke was right. What good was being in charge if you couldn’t have a little fun while you were at it?

"Understood, Heda. This way, Heda." 

She feels as if the eyes of the entire camp are upon her as she walks to the meeting spot. She adjusts her cloak and fixes her clothes on the journey, trying to look like she had a respectable and quiet night. When they reach their destination, she sees Clarke standing there, looking both smug and irritatingly pretty. Her lips look especially enticing, but Lexa knows she cannot let that distract her today. She inclines her head slightly in acknowledgement. "Clarke."

"Commander." Clarke nods back. "I trust you slept well."

"Of course. I was most comfortable,” Lexa replies, trying her best to be subtle. There are people watching them.

"As was I.” Clarke grins. "Though there was an irritating noise I kept hearing."

"I have heard your people call them allergies. Certain...fluffy...things can cause such an ailment,” Lexa huffs.

Clarke’s eyes widen. "Oh, an ailment? Are you in need of a healer? Because if you are…" Clarke leans closer and whispers. "I give very good treatment.”

Lexa’s eyes widen when she realizes Clarke is not talking about medical treatment. They are failing miserably at keeping this subtle.

She holds up her hand, begging Clarke to stop, and turns to face Des. "What was this urgent matter you spoke of?"

He shrugs and gestures towards Clarke. "The sky girl told me it was of urgency."

"Oh, did she?" Lexa turns back to Clarke, a forced smile on her face.

"Yes, Heda. I wish to show you something before the council arrives. It is of the utmost importance.”

Lexa doubts Clarke’s matter of importance is truly that important. However, the meeting to arrange a permanent alliance between their people that is due to start in an hour is of the utmost importance. Lexa knows she should refuse, but she can’t find the willpower. She flips her cape over her shoulder. "Alright, let's go then.”

Clarke leads her through the forest on a trail Lexa hardly ever takes. She is beginning to think that perhaps Clarke has actually brought her here to show her something, when Clarke suddenly spins around and backs her up against a tree.

"Oh...uh...wow..." Lexa gasps. Utmost importance indeed.

She stares at Clarke’s lips for a moment. “You are horrible, you know that, right?”

"Whatever…” Clarke mumbles before kissing her.

“Clarke, um, we have council members arriving soon...” Lexa pushes her away gently.

"Shof op!" Clarke mumbles as she trails kisses down Lexa’s neck.

"This is seriously distracting!” Lexa protests.

"That's the point." Clarke looks up and cups Lexa's cheek. "Wow…Aphrodite really took her time on you."

Lexa frowns. "Who is Aphrodite?"

"A goddess, like you."

Lexa can’t help but smile at that.

"A long time ago, she was a goddess of love and beauty," Clarke explains as she unclips Lexa’s shoulder guard, and tosses it out of her way.

"Damn it, Clarke," Lexa grumbles. But Clarke shows no signs of slowing down.

Lexa groans and wraps her hands about Clarke's neck, giving in to temptation.

/////

When they stumble back to camp, all eyes are upon them.

Lexa wonders if it is that obvious. She hopes not. She had taken her time making sure her clothing was perfectly arranged, and had even redone her hair on the way back.

Clarke’s flushed cheeks and incessant giggling is not helping their case.

When Octavia gives them an "I know but I really don't want to know," look, Lexa wants to run and hide behind the nearest tree.   
Instead, Lexa holds her ground, staring Octavia down as she approaches them.

But Octavia is not deterred. “Commander, may I have a word?" She asks.

Without waiting for Lexa’s reply, Octavia grabs her wrist and drags her into the woods, away from the group of sky people and trikru who are desperately trying it hold their laughter in.

"Um, Octavia, what are you doing?" Lexa looks at her, confused.

Octavia’s eyes widen when she realizes what Lexa is thinking. "Oh, no…most definitely not. I mean, no offence, Heda, but seriously, no." She whips something out of her pocket and opens it. 

Lexa is surprised to see that is a little looking glass. 

Octavia sighs as she hands it to Lexa. "I just thought you had a right to know.”

"What?" Lexa takes the tiny mirror and holds it up her face. She admires her war paint for a moment. She does look pretty good. And intimidating. She has always prided herself on her ability to look intimidating. 

Octavia groans. "I hate to interrupt this little love fest, Narcissus, but you might want to check your neck.”

"What?" Lexa tilts the mirror to her neck. When she sees the lip marks all over her neck she nearly screams Clarke’s name. She slams the mirror shut. So that was why Clarke had looked so good. She had been wearing that stupid substance the ark women insisted on wearing all over their lips. Clarke had told her once that centuries ago, women had started wearing it to make themselves look more alluring. Lexa had laughed that, saying that such a concept was stupid, and that the blood of your enemies was the only thing red that should be on one’s face. She wishes she had not laughed, for she has fallen victim to it's allure, just as the ancients had.

Octavia is shaking her head slowly, a smile on her face.

"Don't even think about it!" Lexa warns as she rubs at the lipstick marks.

Octavia swallows the laugh.

"Give me your water flask,” Lexa orders.

Octavia hands it over and watches as Lexa tries in desperation to get the markings off.

"Have you ever done this to Lincoln?" Lexa asks. She tears a small strip of her shirt off and uses it to get the remaining spots off.

Octavia purses her lips. "No. But I may well have to think about it now."

Once Lexa is satisfied, she hands the mirror back to Octavia. "You must acquire some of it for me, this lipstick. I believe Clarke deserves some...oh, what do you people call it..."

"Payback?" Octavia suggests.

Lexa nods. "Yes. Payback.” The word feels sweet on her tongue. Clarke is certainly going to pay for this one. “How do I look?" 

She asks Octavia.

"Decent."

Lexa glares at Octavia, not appreciating being sassed by a second.

When they return to the meeting area, Lexa storms up to Clarke and hisses, "You are going to regret this you...you…" She struggles to remember the English term.

“Brat?” Clarke offers. “You should really be thanking me. It will make it easier to unite our people. I mean we have already made an alliance…of sorts…”

Lexa slaps Clarke’s arm, refusing to admit that she is right. “Oh, shof op,” she grumbles.

This is going to be a long day.


	3. A Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The revenge plot continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to continue this because I had this bit sort of already written

The council commences when the line of officials, both sky people and grounders, shake hands. Clarke and Lexa go last, as representatives of their people. When they grab hands, they share a knowing look before breaking away. Lexa’s eyes linger a moment too long on Clarke’s still - painted lips.

Lexa looks over to the sky people to see Clarke's mother giving her a disapproving look. 

What, had the chancellor thought her daughter had just wanted to see what a grounder sleepover was like? These people were so weird when it came to private matters. 

Lexa clears her throat. "May the council begin. I…” When she tries to continue her speech, Clarke cuts her off.

"We are here today to discuss a permanent alliance between our people. One that would see this camp and the lands and villages in Lexa's, er, I mean the Commander's territory as one. From previous diplomatic discussions, I understand that the Ice nation is still a threat. My people offer advanced medical treatment and training, as well as advanced weaponry. This is what we bring as our well....dowry."

Why was she speaking of this as if it were a marriage? 

Lexa tries to keep her face neutral, thankful for the war paint hiding her blush. "To this alliance my people can provide training, for your people to become warriors, as many of the remaining hundred have opted to do.” Lexa gestures to Octavia, Bellamy, Harper, and Monroe in example. “We can also provide extensive knowledge of these lands. Only I can guarantee your complete safety throughout these lands. We can teach you to hunt and to gather."

“And we can teach your people to farm," Clarke adds. "We can teach your people to read and write, to aid in efficient communication. We can educate you."

Was Clarke trying to imply her people are stupid?

Lexa clears her throat, glaring pointedly. "While our people are already educated, learning these skills will only aid us in our fight against the Ice nation."

Hearing them argue in a heated manner made Raven roll her eyes. "Can they just bang it out already," she hisses.

"They probably already did!" Octavia mimicks gagging. " I don't want to envision that right now. Or ever.”

"Well I mean I'm all over Wick, but seriously you gotta admit, despite the fact that she is a bitch, the commander is attractive…”

"I'm not admitting anything." Octavia glares. "Get your head out of the gutter."

"Why is that saying still a thing?” Raven asks, “earth doesn't even have gutters anymore. You would actually need civilization for that."

They hear Lexa clear her throat once more and glare at them.

"Shit!" Octavia hisses, "do you think she heard?"

"About what - them not being civilized...or the other part?" Raven’s face pales at the thought.

"Just shut up!" Octavia elbows Raven.

"Raven? Octavia? Do you have something to add to our discussion?" Lexa asks.

"Er...yes…” Raven begins.

“That's right,” Octavia continues, not really knowing what she is saying, “Our people can help build towns...”

“Uh, yeah! Big towns with..uh, gutters!" Raven finishes.

“What the hell?” Octavia hisses as Clarke and Lexa look at them in confusion 

Lexa waves her hand. "We already have towns. We don't need...gutters...whatever these are. And I don't appreciate interruptions. Please leave.”

Clarke smiles at her in agreement.

Awkwardly, Raven and Octavia turn to leave, but not before Lexa adds. "Also, one of you, come see me after this at my tent."

"They're so gross." Octavia mutters as her and Raven head through the woods back to the main part of camp..

"I wonder what she wants?" Raven asks.

"Oh, who the hell knows with her!”

Raven stops for a minute. "Why should we even go? She isn't in charge of us."

"Well, speaking from experience, if you do not go to her she will find you. And she will be pissed.

Raven collapses down on a log, stretching out her leg. "Even so, we are skikru, not trikru . She can’t boss us around just because she is annoyed at us."

"You better start changing the way you think.” Octavia sits down beside her. “We are more like ski-tri-kru now that her and Clarke decided to start dating…”

\--------------------------------------------------

An hour later, they see the procession of grounders going back to camp. The meeting was over. 

The pair stood up and began walking back.

“Well, I guess it’s time!” Octavia grins. “So, what are you waiting for?”

"No." Raven glares at Octavia. "Uh uh."

"Oh come on!" Octavia whines.

"Why do I have to go talk to her? You know her better!" Raven gives Octavia a pleading look. "Hell, you're practically a grounder!"

"Nobody "knows" the commander. And besides, seconds don't do dirty work." Octavia slaps Raven's ass with her sword, forcing her toward the Commander's tent.

"Spirits be damned! Fine!" Raven holds her hands up in submission. "I'm going! Wait…what dirty work?”

Octavia sighs. “Just do what she says and pretend you aren't bothered by it! Go!"

Raven pushes open the tent flap tentatively. "Uh, hello? Commander?"

Hearing no response she enters slowly. When she sees the commander lying on her bed, eyes closed, twirling a knife in her hands, she repeats herself a bit louder. "Uh, commander?"

Lexa eyes flash open, looking her dead in the eyes. Raven isn't so much intimidated as creeped out by the dead gaze. "You wanted to see one of us?"

"Venjfa. Paie-ut. Do you know what these words mean?"

"Uh...no?" Raven shakes her head. 

"Vengeance. Payment back of honour taken."

"Okay? So what is my punishment then?"

Lexa looks at her in confusion. "Punishment? What punishment?" When realization hits her, she smiles and laughs.

Raven is taken aback by this. 

"Oh, you thought...about the interruption? Oh, no no no. That was all a ploy. I have an important mission for you."

"But Octavia seemed to imply there would be some work involved that she has done before."

Lexa nods. "She probably thought I mean sharpening swords and polishing weapons. No, that is not what I had in mind. "

"So, what did you have in mind?" Raven just wants her to get to the point. 

Instead Lexa goes off course once more. "So you think I am attractive?" She asks. 

She definitely overheard them then. "What? No!" 

Lexa glares at her once more. It seems all she does is glare.

Raven realizes there is no good way out of this. She either has to admit it or risk insulting the commander. "I mean, well, sure...yes, but I only meant..."

Without giving Raven a chance to continue, Lexa cuts her off. "I wonder what opinion Clarke would have."

"But I was merely defending Clarke's choice though. Nothing like that." Raven groans and turns away from Lexa, mortified.

"In any case, I have a bargain for you."

"What?"

"You help me get back at Clarke for humiliating me earlier, and I will forget your words." Lexa purses her lips. "Yes, I like this plan."

'Just play along and do what she says,' Octavia had said. 

They hadn't anticipated this though. 

Raven nods, not because she is threatened by the possibility of Lexa telling Clarke what she heard, but because this was going to be amusing.


End file.
